The Nick Abbot Habit

00:02 This is a global production. Oh, it's a good one for you this week. In these clips, a person suggested an improvement to Formula One. We went looking for indigenous chickens and we heard Tetchy Fagash's greatest hit. 00:18 James says, come to the game fair next week and learn about food where it comes from. 00:23 I know where it comes from. It comes from Tesco's. 00:27 Hoban, Tony. 00:29 Hello, Nick. Tony. 00:32 You mentioned before the news about Monday, briefly, and I just feel, based on facts, that it's wrong... Facts? Yeah. Facts? Well, it's facts and feelings. 00:46 Oh, we're not interested in your facts on this show. We're only interested in feelings now, baby. 00:54 Yes. 00:56 I just feel it's wrong, actually. 00:59 The hospitalisations are going up. 01:02 The deaths are going up. The infection rate's going up. Yes. And one or two of the scientists have said that because of the rate that the infections are doubling, we're hospitals... I don't know if they use the word overwhelmed, but certainly they'll be up again. They might be overwhelmed. And yet, I'm not... I wouldn't say I'm complacent, but I think I've been a bit more relaxed because I've had both injections... 01:27 And when I'm on the shops or even on public transport, I notice a lot of people that are not wearing masks or some have got them under their chin. 01:38 Well, under their chin is just properly weird. I mean, under their nose, I sort of get that because, you know, you don't want to be coughing and sneezing and spluttering and talking loudly and shouting and singing. But if you're on a train, I mean, I have been known to stick it under my nose and not feel too guilty about it. 01:57 Is that a dreadful thing to admit? 02:00 Well, they do advise that you cover your nose. They? Yeah, they've got a picture on the underground showing how you should wear a mask. Because obviously we need to be educated. 02:10 Well, you need to be educated. Don't go on the underground. 02:14 Well, I have to sometimes. 02:17 But it just seems... What do you think? Do you think that we should be having so-called Freedom Day on Monday? 02:25 I don't get paid to think. I leave it for my elders and betters to think because, you know, they know what they're doing. 02:31 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 02:33 I mean, who wouldn't follow that guy? 02:36 Yeah, well, I found myself because I've had both injections and a couple of my friends have said they know people who have had both injections and they have caught COVID very mildly. 02:46 Like Sajid Javid, for instance, his super-saj. 02:49 Yeah, exactly. And I've decided now I'm going to try and be a little bit more resilient, a bit more careful. And I've walked into a shop today. 03:00 Let caution be your watchword, Tony. 03:04 Caution, yeah. Yeah. 03:06 So I walked into a shop today and I forgot to put my arm, completely forgot. I'm looking around and many other people didn't have their mask on. So I thought, well, I won't bother. But I'm going to bother from now because I just think that we're in a dangerous situation. Right, yes. 03:22 Vigilance. You want to be vigilant at all times, Tony. 03:25 Yeah, I do. Keep your eyes peeled. 03:27 Thanks, Nick. Oh, no, thank you. I appreciate it. 03:32 Whatever it was. John emails climate change, global warming, wobbly moon. This is what we were talking about yesterday. 03:39 Did Gavin the education czar Williamson come up with this blame fact? 03:45 Nonsense. Ask the sprawling smug. He knows everything. 03:49 What on earth does that mean? 03:54 I think I read this yesterday as well. And then I did this. You just want me to play this, don't you? This entire show is a repeat so far. 04:03 Apart from that call. 04:05 I preferred the bits that were a repeat myself. 04:09 Hello. Number three. Trying to connect you. Sorry to keep you waiting. 04:13 Yes, sorry to keep you waiting. The number is 0345 6060 973. Let's talk to a bloke in Hull. Charles. 04:21 Oh, hi, Nick. Hope you're well and that in these, well, rather hot days. 04:25 No, it's a little bit chilly. I took off one jumper. I mean, let's not get carried away. 04:31 Well, you see, Hull apparently got mentioned in the weather. We're 30 degrees. In fact, I'm walking around without my shirt on. 04:42 Disgusting. Put it back on. Nobody wants to see that. 04:46 I know. 04:47 I did want to mention football and rugby. 04:52 Yes. 04:53 You just did. Well done. What else? 04:55 Well, you see, I got locked out in my pub, you see. It was a locker. So I went back home. I don't have a television, so I heard it on the radio. 05:04 Wait a minute, back up. Wait a minute. When you said your pub, do you mean your pub or just a pub that you happen to go to? 05:13 Local pub. Right, OK. 05:15 Yeah. And you see, I went back home and I was hoping to see it on YouTube, but all they had was fans looking at nothing. 05:24 You were hoping to see what on YouTube? 05:27 Just people looking at the screen, but you couldn't see the football. 05:32 Right. 05:34 So this is ancient history we're talking about now. 05:37 Why did you get locked out if the football was on? 05:40 Yeah, but you see... What do you mean, yes? That's not an explanation. 05:43 Why did you get locked out when the football was on? 05:47 I think it was a landlady when... Saw you coming. ...when all the blokes went crazy a week ago. 05:54 Yeah. 05:56 And? 05:58 Oh, so... 06:01 I'm listening to it on the radio, but you don't get... The visuals. 06:06 You don't get the visuals when you're listening to it on the radio. That is completely correct. Well spotted, that man. 06:11 Yes, you've got it. 06:13 But you don't get white cane passes to black sterling. 06:21 What? It's not snooker. 06:24 Exactly. But you see, imagine, you know, and the penalties were taken, but there was nothing about the colour of people's skins. 06:34 Just jump to the point, Charles. Time is running out for you. When the next few days, everything is about the footballers' colour of their skin. 06:46 Right. That's because they were watching it on TV. 06:49 And I had the radio. I mean, I didn't know. 06:52 Right, well, now you know. Thanks a lot, Charles, for, God, that's two in a row on the Nicky Abbott show. 06:57 Paul tweets, yesterday this was, Nick, all children are unvaccinated. If the R rate rises to anywhere near seven, as predicted, seven, seven, one is... Warning, warning. Seven is off the scale. 07:12 All children are unvaccinated. If the R rate rises to anywhere near seven, as predicted, then pretty much all children will become infected, says Paul. At least 10% of which will go on to suffer long COVID. It'll be interesting to see how the government spins its way out of that. Well, I'll tell you how they'll spin their way out of it. Bodger Johnson will just go, and people are saying, oh, he's doing his best. 07:39 Mickey texts, Nick, I've got the electric blanket on. Well, that's just common sense, Mickey. 07:46 It was a little bit chilly today. 07:48 Davey says, what time's the meteor shower? 07:51 It's at night. 07:54 It's at night, Davey. 07:57 I looked up in the sky last night and, oh, was it fantastic? No. Couldn't see a thing. 08:03 I mean, the stars were there, but there was, you know, this celestial fireworks display was non-evident. Couldn't see it. 08:12 I must have looked for, what, 10, 15 seconds. Nothing there. 08:17 Very, very disappointed. 08:19 Let's have Leamington Spa. Anthony. 08:23 Oh, good evening, Nick. Anthony. 08:25 I just want to say, firstly, how entertaining your show is, it's made me laugh so much. Thanks. So thank you. No, no, no. I said to your researcher, I'm listening to all the calls about the restrictions and stuff. And for me, it's been like a kind of soap opera in Vietnamese, because it's just passed me by. I lived on a farm, and so really the restrictions... 08:50 haven't made any difference because I can't drive so if I need to go to the shop someone has to drive me so I go to the shop buy my food and then come back so it's really interesting hearing the really broad spectrum of experiences of your listeners Some of which are hilarious, it has to be said. 09:11 You mean weird? 09:13 Yes. 09:14 Yes, I suppose other adjectives are available, I guess. I'm going to stick with that one. 09:19 Weird. Something bizarre, maybe. 09:22 I think there's a lot of people that this entire experience has just sort of passed them by and they thought, well, you know, it's not that bad. I think there's a lot of people from about, you know, about, how long are we into this now? It's like 19 months. Oh my God, it's 19 months we've been suffering this. I think a lot of people think, well, what's the big deal? I quite like being at home, sit in the garden, the weather's quite nice. No problemo. 09:46 I suppose so, but I'm lucky because, you know, I say I've worked with horses and I'm on a farm and It's great. So, for me, my... I have the horses as company, and given some of your listeners, I probably quite prefer them. It would make more sense. Yes, exactly. 10:04 The thing is, you know, I'm very lucky because I could have spent it in a tower block in Manchester or somewhere, and that would have been intolerable. And I genuinely feel sorry for people that had to do that. But your programme's take on the whole thing, it made me laugh an awful lot. 10:23 Well, thanks, Anthony. Another satisfied customer. 10:26 Can you give me a sound effect? Because that would be great. 10:29 Yes. No. There you go. 10:32 Jim texts. Formula One would be much more exciting if half the cars went... 10:38 Yes, it would, yeah. If half the cars went clockwise around the track and the other half anticlockwise, then I'd probably watch it. Jim, I would watch it too. 10:48 I'd be rapped. 10:52 Gavin says, no team sports at the Olympics. What about the 100 and 400 sprint relays? 10:59 Yeah, no. Well, maybe. I suppose so, yeah. Yeah, you can have the relays, but no team sport. That's not really a team sport, is it? Is it? Does that count as a team sport? I suppose it does a bit. But you know what I mean. Like football and tennis shouldn't... I know tennis is not a team sport, but that shouldn't be a part of the Olympics either. Hockey and, you know, all that stuff. It's got nothing to do with the Olympics. What's that got to do with the Olympics? They just keep adding sports because it makes them money. 11:27 It's a nonsense. 11:31 That's my considered opinion. 11:34 Johnny says, I'm on holiday in Chertsey right now. Chertsey couldn't be more Chertsey. I've been to a pub tonight called The Chertsey, and I'm staying in a hotel called The Chertsey, and now Chertsey is all over your show. I'm all Chertsey'd out. Well, I was yesterday. 11:48 These are texts and tweets and such from yesterday. Chris says, it doesn't get any more sillier than speedwalking at the Olympics. 11:56 Yeah. 11:57 I'm with you there, yeah. 11:59 It's more like speed mincing. 12:02 Can we be honest? 12:04 Less walking, more mincing. 12:06 Sarah says, squash is not an Olympic sport. It's one of the toughest sports in the world. 12:12 Rubbish. 12:16 Here's Shoreditch. Hello, James. 12:19 Oh, hi, Nick. How are you doing? Good, thanks. 12:22 I wanted to be the first person to wish you a happy World Emoji Day 2021. 12:26 World Emoji Day! 12:28 Yeah. I hate emojis. What are you, 12? 12:33 Plus 20, yeah. Yeah, but you can still enjoy all the trappings of World Emoji Day without having to use emojis. You can't. 12:42 You have to use emojis to be a part of World Emoji Day, and nobody over the age of 12 should be using an emoji, ever. 12:50 Yeah. I mean, I suppose you can't really send a card, can you, with an emoji? You have to send an emoji for Emoji Day. 12:56 I suppose so, yeah, which means you can't do it. It's for children, James. 13:00 Try using... More bad news for the Royal Bell. 13:02 Try... 13:03 Try using words. 13:06 Can I interest you in words? No. I'll take an E, please, Bob. Yeah, all right. Now we're fresh out, James. Thanks a lot, mate. 0345 6060 973. World emoji, Dave. Have you ever heard anything so silly in all your life? No. Geoffrey emails, so Japan has no spectators. We had the Euros and 60-odd thousand. Now we have 140,000 at Silverstone. 13:28 Is it really going to be 140,000 people watching that? 13:35 Meow, meow, meow. 13:38 Why? 13:39 What possible pleasure do you get in it? I just don't get it. Like, I really don't. Mystifying. You can call me Mr. Fide. 13:48 Paul says, I just went outdoors expecting to see... This is last night. 13:53 Just went outdoors expecting to see nothing but dark skies and I saw a meteor within a few seconds. You, sir, are a liar and an engraver. And I challenge you to a duel. An engraver? Is that a typo? Please, people, check your messages before you press send. 14:09 And Raj tweets, organic eggs have a more enjoyable lifestyle? 14:18 Did I say that? Well, actually they do. 14:21 It's a fact. Organic eggs have a more enjoyable lifestyle than ordinary eggs, up to the point where they are submerged in boiling water and then they have their heads smashed in. Oh, no! Up to that point, they're really enjoying their lives. 14:37 Glasgow. Hello, Robert. 14:40 Oh, hi, Nick. Can you hear me? Yes, Robert. 14:44 Now, this may sound a bit Machiavelli, but I was giving this some talk when I heard about the Sajidman... waking up this morning with the coronavirus. Now, everybody in England, especially in England, the app, the NHS app for coming into contact, surely the Prime Minister of that great manner he is, or he thinks he is, would have been pinged. 15:17 Oh, he's been pinged, all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait a minute. 15:23 That's really... But you see, this sounds to me too pat. Do you know what I mean? Maybe I'm over-egging it or over-thinking it. But anyway, that's all I've got to say next. OK, well, excellent work. 15:40 It sounds like you said it. Thanks a lot, Robert. He's been pinged. 15:45 Oh, no! Oh, no! 16:14 And we haven't seen a rise in infections apart from the massive rise in infections. How many more times can they be wrong about everything? 16:22 It comes just before England is set to ditch most restrictions, including, but not limited to, social distancing and legal limits of gatherings on Monday, Freedom Day! 16:35 Professor John of the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine and the Scientific Advisory Group for Emergencies said that with the lifting of lockdown restrictions in England on Monday, the disease would continue to spread. 16:46 But what does he know? 16:48 He's just a professor of the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine and the Scientific Advisory Group for Emergencies. 16:54 He said, I think this wave of the epidemic will be quite long and drawn out. My hunch is that we are looking at a high level of incidence for a protracted period right through the summer and probably through much of the autumn. 17:06 It's just moan, moan, moan. Stop whining. There was a lot of syllables in there and they went pretty much all over my head. So I'm going to assume that it's all good news. 17:17 Jeremy Hunt, who is now chairman of the Commons Health and Social Care Committee, said the situation was very serious. 17:24 That's right. 17:26 Mostly because Jeremy Hunt is now chairman of the Commons Health and Social Care Committee. 17:32 Jeremy Hunt said, I think coming into September we are almost certainly going to see infections reach a new daily peak, going above the 68,000 daily level, which was the previous daily record in January. 17:44 If they're still going up as the schools are coming back, I think we're going to have to reconsider some very difficult decisions. He said, how we behave over the next few weeks will have a material difference. Well, here's a revolutionary thought. 17:57 You are the government. You're supposed to be running the country. I would have to think that it's how you behave over the next few weeks that will have a material difference. 18:08 And the whole lot of them seem to have thrown in the towel. 18:12 Of course, they'll all be on holiday for six whole weeks from next week. 18:18 Can you believe that? Actually, it's supposed to be from next Friday, but nothing ever gets done on a Friday and there's no point in coming in on Thursday because the weather's going to be so nice and they won't be in on Wednesday. What's the point in coming in just for Monday and Tuesday? So they're on holiday now. 18:35 Bodger is at this moment having his minions pack his flip-flops and his triple extra-large Speedos. Disgusting. Place your bets as to which forbidden red-list holiday destination that he'll jet off to to spend more time with some billionaire's money. 18:54 Where's it going to be, Bodge? 18:57 And do you have your excuse as to why you're allowed to go there and come back without isolating? Can you still use Gove's ruse about joining a special scheme that lets you off the hook? You know, one that's open to the public, but only if the public is a member of the Cabinet. 19:15 Meanwhile, people who actually work for a living or know a thing or two, scientists, 1,200 of them, accuse the UK of endangering the world. 19:24 And creating conditions for the emergence of a new variant by pressing on with Freedom Day, where global Britain were exporting the Johnson variant to you lucky foreigners. You're welcome. 19:35 Thank you. 19:37 Meanwhile, Professor John, you know, the one from the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine and Scientific Advisory Group for Emergencies, said there would be a surge in cases among the unvaccinated Brits this summer because the unlocking was coming too early. 19:51 We started easing restrictions before everybody was vaccinated, he said. 19:55 That's going to lead to infections in the unvaccinated, primarily in this instance, the younger individuals. It's inevitable that it was going to happen, he said. 20:04 Cases could reach 100,000 a day within weeks because the number of infections has so far been doubling every two weeks. But that's just science. And science can't hurt you if you have oomph and vim and vigour. 20:19 And all that other guff that Bodger warbles on about. 20:22 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait a minute. 20:24 Professor John said we are at about 50,000 a day now. 20:28 The epidemic has been doubling roughly every two weeks. And so if we allow things as they are for another couple of weeks, you could expect it to get to 100,000 cases a day. That's maths, that is. But maths isn't settled science. Maths is more about feelings these days. So, Britain, how do you feel? Ah! 20:52 Experts who met for an emergency summit on Friday compared Freedom Day to, quotes, a murderous policy of herd immunity by mass infection. 21:02 Wow. 21:05 Has any politician in this country of any stripe in history, let alone the actual Prime Minister, ever been accused of a murderous policy towards their own people? We are charting new territory here, folks. 21:18 Even Jeremy Hunt. 21:20 Chairman of the Commons Health and Social Care Committee said, COVID hospital patients are doubling every two weeks. That means we're heading for 10,000 COVID hospital patients by the end of August, which is about 20 times higher than this time last year. 21:33 It's a very serious situation, he said. 21:38 It's odd. He seems to be telling the truth rather than repeating the government line that he should have learned by rote. There seems to be something wrong with Jeremy Hunt. 21:46 He's thinking for himself. Oh, no. He said the NHS's dashboard warning light is not flashing amber, it's flashing red. 21:56 He said the way people behave as controls end will be crucial in determining the path of the pandemic over the next couple of months. 22:05 Jeremy Hunt... 22:06 said, emergency, everybody to get from street. Emergency, everybody to get from street. 22:14 And then he spoiled it by saying that the country now has herd immunity, which has given the government hope that lockdown will not have to be reimposed. 22:22 Rise. 22:23 Place your bets on the lockdown being reimposed. Place your bets. Bet. Nah. Any takers? No. Didn't think so. 22:34 Meanwhile, those in other countries are freaking out. 22:39 Professor Michael, a member of the New Zealand government's Covid advisory group, said his colleagues were amazed and astounded when the UK decided to remove restrictions despite rising case numbers. 22:53 He said, what? 22:56 Professor Stephen, Australia's former health secretary, said the UK needed to make sure that more case numbers were under control before lifting restrictions. 23:04 Professor Jose from the University of Valencia in Spain said, UK policy affects not only UK citizens, it affects the world. We cannot understand why this unlocking is happening. 23:16 Professor Christina, a SAGE member, said Britain's position as a dominant transport hub put other countries at risk. 23:24 William, an eminent US scientist renowned for his work on HIV and AIDS and cancer at Harvard University, said the UK is now lacking in sensible policies and described the strategy of herd immunity as murderous. It's our gift for the world. 23:40 Open for business, global Britain. 23:44 Meanwhile, the beta variant of the coronavirus spreading in France may evade vaccines, Professor Edmonds said. Gloomsters, all of them. 23:53 I'm sure everything's going to be all right because Bodger Johnson is in charge. Ain't that right, Bodge? 24:00 It's a maybe. 24:01 Right, so what are we doing? Given we're doing a radio show, but it does remind me that I do a podcast with Carol McGiffin, which is called What's Your Problem with Nick and Carol? Yeah. In which the delightful Carol McGiffin and I try to solve people's issues while maintaining a straight face and failing on both counts. 24:18 We're taping tomorrow. She's in France at the moment and they had a storm. 24:23 So we couldn't do it yesterday, which is when we were supposed to do it. So we've re-booked tomorrow. So you've got some extra time to get your problems in. If you have an issue and you want us to solve it, send it to the following address, nickandcarol at global.com. 24:42 That's N-I-C-K-A-N-D-C-A-R-O-L at global.com. 24:47 And prepare to be completely satisfied. 24:51 You can listen to the podcast where you get good podcasts. Ask for it by name on an internet near you. What's your problem with Nick and Carol? 25:01 Twickenham. Hello, Elaine. 25:02 Oh, hello there. 25:03 Hello there. 25:05 Oh, I didn't have anybody saying I'm coming on, actually. 25:08 You're coming on, Elaine. 25:09 Well, I've spoken to Tom before, Tom Swalbrick. Ah, yes. Now, I have to say, this is all on impulse, because I heard your last caller saying about... Somebody having the Pfizer vaccine and blah, blah, blah. 25:24 This is interesting. 25:27 I'll start from the beginning. 25:29 Oh, no, wait a minute. Is this a long story? No, I know, I know. 25:32 Don't start. 25:33 Do not start. Wait a minute. Is this a long story? 25:36 Well, it's not going to be that long, I hope. 25:38 What does that mean, not that long? 25:40 Well, it could be that long. 25:41 How many minutes? 25:42 Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Here we go with you, don't we? 25:48 No, let's put it this way. 25:50 My husband and I, we're... I'm not going to go... Well, I'm 76. 76 years old? Yeah, we're very young, really. We're really... We're goers, the pair of us. We've been very lucky. We've been very lucky so far. 26:04 Real goers? 26:06 Oh, we are goers. We had a family of four move in with us for five months. 26:11 Does this have anything to do with your story? Yes, yes. Or is this like colour and background? 26:16 Because we haven't got time for any of that. 26:18 No, I'm not doing all that. I'm just talking about the virus. 26:20 OK. 26:21 So they moved in with us, two young children and my daughter and husband. They've gone now. They went last Monday. Anyway, I won't go into all that. 26:30 For the first time, my husband... 26:32 I know. It was like colour and background. It had absolutely nothing to do with the story. You were just wasting time, Elaine. 26:37 No, I'm not wasting time. So, anyway... Where did they go, by the way? My... Sorry? Where did they go? It was OK. No, it was great. 26:46 Where did they leave? 26:47 Monday. Last Monday. They've gone to Troon in Scotland. 26:51 Oh, Troon. 26:52 Beautiful place. Yeah, Troon. Do you know it? 26:55 It's OK. Yeah. 26:56 It looks lovely, actually. But anyway, I'm not going into all that. They've... My husband got the virus only because he was a bit under the weather and I said we could do these lateral testes because we've got young children with us and everything. So anyway, come... Brilliant. It came up positive, right? Twice. We did two. So I'm negative. Negative. 27:19 Negative. 27:20 We all isolated. The kids didn't go to school. We did all the right things. The thing is... 27:27 This is the thing is that... To cut a long story short. Yeah, that's right. All our bedrooms were taken up, so I had to sleep with him, didn't I? I have to. I mean, there's no... Unless I go, you know, on a... 27:39 I said, I'll just open the... A little too much information there. 27:43 No, no, no, no. But what I'm saying is, I didn't pick it up. Now, the thing is, this other lady that came on, he had the visor. 27:52 What other lady... 27:53 The other lady earlier that came on about the visor and the Oxford vaccination... 27:59 There's another woman? 28:01 Yeah, before me. Yeah, that's why I phoned up. My husband had the visor. 28:05 When did you find out about this? 28:07 What do you mean? 28:10 Shut up. He had the visor. I had what I said. We used to laugh. I said, I've had the cheaper one, the Oxford. 28:19 Yeah. 28:19 Right? I didn't pick the virus up. They go... 28:23 I did not get the virus and none of us did. 28:26 They've all been vaccinated, my daughter and son-in-law. We didn't get it. And we tested and tested and tested. So there you go. That's all I've found to say. 28:38 Wow, that was much quicker than I thought. 28:40 But I think, Nick, I have to say, I've been on the internet. I'm not a great thing for all this, but it's all to do with blood groups. 28:49 And if you're the common blood group, I know I'm an O positive because I used to give blood when I was a bit younger. And it did say on there, if you're O, you are less likely to pick the virus up. So I don't know. That's all I read. So that's interesting, isn't it? 29:16 No. Where did you read it? 29:18 Well, yesterday, actually. I read it yesterday. 29:21 Where? 29:21 Where did you read it? On the internet. On the internet? But where? 29:27 Well, just, I went into, I just Googled it. 29:30 Oh, Struth. That's the last thing you want to do. 29:33 Oh, shut up. 29:35 It is. 29:36 No, but how weird is that? 29:37 It's very weird, Elaine. 29:39 It is weird, isn't it? Yeah. Anyway, I thought I'd just share that with you all. 29:43 Okay, well, thanks for sharing. We appreciate it. 29:46 Thank you. 29:46 Cheers, my dear. 29:48 Much, much quicker than I thought, which was, you know, completely satisfying as far as I'm concerned. 0345 6060 973. So the upper shot is that she didn't get it. 30:02 Isn't that great? Peter emails, tell me where wild chickens are indigenous. 30:12 Well, I don't know. 30:18 Where wild chickens are indigenous. Think dodo, he says. We ate them into extinction, so chickens are so lucky. 30:28 What does that mean? 30:31 You mean ordinary chickens are lucky that we ate all the wild ones? 30:37 Or that chickens are lucky because we ate the dodos? I mean, are chickens dodos natural food? Probably not. 30:47 What are you on about, Peter? 30:49 Richard emails, Brexit has caused so much anxiety, even the moon is wobbling. Yeah, that's right, the moon is wobbling. 30:56 Which explains a lot. 31:00 Sean says, our local cinema does a cheese board on a plate with dry crackers. Loudest thing I ever tried to eat in a cinema, says Sean. 31:10 Well, Sean, I mean this in the most positive and respectful way possible. You're an idiot. 31:17 What do you want to order a cheese board in a cinema for? 31:21 A cheese board in a cinema? How hungry are you? 31:27 God, we've got to constantly graze like cows. Even cows wouldn't order a cheese board in a cinema. 31:36 Can you not go two hours without eating? No. Apparently not. 31:40 A cheese board. 31:44 That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. 31:48 And if you've heard some of the calls on this show so far, that's a very high bar, Sean. 31:56 I want you to think about what you've done. Right, those are the messages from yesterday. It took me an hour to get through them. But worth it, no? No. 32:07 Here's some from today. 32:09 Peter says, I guess we should retire the expression, avoid it like the plague, given how little effort people seem to be willing to go to actually avoid the plague. 32:18 And now that Sajid Javid has got the virus, do you think we'll get Hancock back? Yeah, Matt, Hancock's back. 32:27 What could possibly go wrong? 32:30 He's come back. He's noticed that some loose change is lying about the place. So, you know, he's got somewhere to put that, no doubt. 32:39 Daryl says, I can't believe the health secretary, the Sag, has just tested positive for COVID. He owns me big time. I've only just bought a brand new irony meter and it's already broken. 32:55 Steph says, did you see Uncle Nige unveiled his big career change? 33:02 He's going to be a, quotes, broadcaster. I think that's sarcastic air quotes there. 33:07 He teased the news at 10am but didn't reveal the details until 5pm, leaving loyal devotees holding their breath for seven hours. Sadly, only metaphorically, says Stephen. 33:19 Yeah, well, the best of luck with that, Nigel. Who can forget Nigel's gracious hit? 33:23 I'm immensely grateful to you for everything you've done in British politics over the last few years. I used to be an ardent Remainer. I voted Remainer. I believed in the European project. 33:35 I believed that staying in the European Union was the best thing for us. And then something happened and something monumental happened. It completely changed my opinion on the whole situation. What was that monumental thing, Mark? I was kicked in the head by a horse. 33:53 Right, very good. OK, fine. Thank you. No, thank you. 33:57 Thank you. 33:57 Appreciate it. 33:59 Carl texts, I work at a castle. 34:02 And I got hold of some pea hen eggs. 34:07 Free range and organic. Absolutely delicious, fried up with some British-style chips to dip in the yolk. Nicer than duck eggs in many ways. Well, that's a matter for you, Carl, but I absolutely will not eat anything called pea anything. 34:22 That's a hard and fast rule with me. New Molden, David. 34:26 Yes, hello. I've been thinking about Freedom Day, and I think Boja would prefer something like... V.D. Day, you know, on the lines of V.E.V.J. Day, V.D. has the victory over Delta Day, of course, nothing else. And that would really be the thing you'd want. We'd want people sort of swinging from the lampposts and crowding outside Buckingham Palace and doing the full, you know, end of the war thing, really, because he's our church. Sounds like a party at Conservative Central Head Office. 35:01 Yes, it does, doesn't it? 35:04 OK, thanks, David. Is the moon wobbling tonight? 35:11 Yes. 35:12 That explains it. 35:14 It has to be something. 35:16 Jack tweets, Nick, is it hot enough for you? 234 centigrade tomorrow, you'd better take another jumper off. Yeah, well, I might do. 35:25 It depends. 35:28 I left my winter coat in the car. 35:31 If that's any help. 35:33 I thought, shall I take it? It's 78 degrees in the middle of town. 35:38 Do I actually need my winter coat? I'll just make do with a thick shirt and a sweatshirt. 35:46 I'll probably be OK. Richie says, now it's sunny, you're finally going to stop moaning. 35:53 Moaning? Whinging and whining and moaning. 35:56 Let's have Perth. 35:58 Gary. 36:00 I'm just calling up in absolute disbelief. 36:05 In Australia, here in New South Wales and Victoria, there's about a thousand cases of COVID and there's two state lockdowns. 36:14 Yeah. 36:16 I just, I'm following Sky News and GBBs, etc. 36:24 And... 36:25 I just can't believe that there's 50,000 cases a day in the UK and they're on about ending all the lockdowns. 36:35 No, it's almost as though they don't know what they're doing. 36:38 No, it's like a walk of fiction. 36:44 It is, yeah. It's like we've stepped through the looking glass with Alice, yeah. 36:52 It's like an alternate reality. Is this real life or am I hallucinating? 36:59 If it works out, I mean, it's going to be one of the books, you know? 37:04 Yeah, if it works out, then Bodger will take full credit. If it doesn't work out, it's our fault for not following his instructions. 37:14 Exactly, but it's a very big risk, you know what I mean? 37:21 The whole thing with lung COVID and the fact that lung COVID, the effects aren't known yet. And just a case of 50,000 cases a day. 37:35 It's like as if he's hanging his entire premiership on this decision, you know? 37:40 Every decision that he's made so far has been completely nonsensical, and his popularity just continues to go ever upwards. He doesn't have adherence. He's got cult fans. It doesn't matter what he does, they're going to support him fully. And that's 43%, 44% of the population. They're going to vote for him, even if he is strangling their granny... 38:03 in the voting booth. 38:07 That's absolutely correct, because I was, when Australia was suffering from the bushfires last year, and Scott Morrison said, I don't hold a hose, mate. You know that? That's right. I don't hold a hose, mate. 38:23 Yeah, I thought that was the end of him. 38:28 And I was absolutely shocked when it wasn't. 38:30 And Ever since then, I'm looking at Trump and I'm looking at Boris and I'm just absolutely shocked. 38:38 Well, there's a lot of ding-a-lings in the world. 38:42 There's no doubt about that. And each and every one of them wants a strong leader. They want somebody who is tough and hard and they do things proper. 38:51 Everything that I've done is 100% proper. That's what I do is I do things proper. 38:55 They want somebody to take over and stick it to the elites. So they chose a millionaire who went to Eton in this country and a billionaire in America because that will show the elites. 39:08 Yeah, that will show you what, like voting for Jacob Rees-Mogg? Yeah, exactly. 39:16 I just don't understand it. Me neither. 39:19 Yes. Smug, why on earth would anybody vote for that man? You're better informed than I am. I don't know anything. 39:28 I mean, just painful. 39:31 Oh, my God. 39:31 It sounds like you're well out of it, Gary. Perth, you couldn't be more far away unless you were actually on that rocket with Richard Branson. 39:39 Nick, before you dump me off, can I just ask you one question, please? 39:43 Go ahead. 39:45 I was listening to a clip of yours from 94, and I heard the sound clips of the tick-tocking and the alarm clock. 39:53 That one. Yes. I want to know, what's your oldest sound bite? 39:59 Oldest soundbites? Yeah, that you still use. 40:07 Well, the Carol McGiffin ones I've been using for absolutely ages. 40:11 Oh, right, yeah. 40:12 Just the same one. I've got about six of them and I just use them over and over again. 40:16 Oh, right, yeah. 40:17 So they're pretty old. 40:18 Does that answer your question? This is old too. 40:23 It's a lot older than I've been using it for, but yeah, that's about that. 40:30 It's brilliant. I'm a massive thank you. Well, thanks a lot, Gareth. I mean, Gary. 40:35 From Perth in Australia. You'd literally have to leave the planet to get further away. 40:41 Yeah, there's a lot of places that have got far fewer cases than we'd... In fact, I think we're the number one in the world, aren't we? We are number one. 40:49 No country is doing as bad as we are. 40:52 I can't imagine why that would be. 40:55 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 40:57 It's a mystery, ain't it? No, it isn't. Not really. No mystery at all. And that's it. If you subscribe to this podcast, the next episode will get squirted up your life as though by magic on Mondays and Thursdays, as far as I'm aware. Although dates may change, but twice a week for sure. There's also the other podcasts that I do, the one that I do with Carol McGiffin called What's Your Problem with Nick and Carol. It's a laugh riot. Carol and me are trying to help and often do, but sometimes don't. 41:30 But we have a lot of fun doing it. If you haven't heard it yet, then I do believe it will be right up your alley. What's your problem with Nick and Carol? There is also the brand new Nick Abbott The Whole Show Plus, which expands on the Friday and Saturday night shows, which I'll put up the internet as a podcast. And Nick Abbott The Whole Show Plus includes an extra show, of the material that I didn't get through on my Friday and Saturday night shows. It's the messages that came in that I didn't manage to get around to and the news stories that I just ran out of time on Friday and Saturday to deliver. 42:06 So that's part of Nick Abbott, The Whole Show Plus. There is also the newsletter which comes out just before Friday to set us up for the weekend. It's all ad-free. I do believe you'll love it. Nick Abbott, The Whole Show Plus. 42:23 You can sign up there. You can also sign up on Global Player and the new LBC app, Nick Abbott, The Whole Show Plus. And I will be back on the radio Friday, Saturday, Sunday night at 10. And until then, I'll be seeing you. Bye-bye. 42:37 This has been a Global Production.